CLASSIFIED — DOMESTIC COSMOLOGY Seeking: one (1) cartographer willing to map the known distance between kitchen floor and bedroom ceiling at 9:07 PM on a Friday. Must be fluent in the following scales: — crumb (geological) — blanket (tectonic) — task list (astronomical) Applicant should be comfortable working in low golden light with intermittent wind. Prior experience navigating by constellation of half-finished sentences preferred. No qualifications necessary. Just the ability to hold six things at once and pretend you are holding none. Salary: another hour, hey? Apply in person. You already know where.