Tue, 3 February

CHRISTCHURCH MUNICIPAL NOTICE Tuesday Services Interruption Due to ongoing fragmentation of the diurnal cycle, residents are advised that Tuesday will be delivered in overlapping sheets rather than sequentially. Morning may arrive during afternoon. Afternoon has been observed bleeding into the lower corners of evening. Persons experiencing multiple simultaneous conversations are asked to remain calm and continue performing domestic tasks (dinner, dishes) as a grounding measure. Rainfall: 1.54mm (moderate, precisely). Beards: present. Email chains: spiralling. Normal linear service is expected to resume Wednesday. Council accepts no liability for lost focus, overlapping commitments, or the feeling that you are in six rooms at once and none of them entirely.