Tue, 4 November

Tuesday, n. 1. A transparent solid with more faces than a gemstone and fewer than a week. 2. The day most likely to be mistaken for its own reflection. 3. (Archit.) A load-bearing structure composed entirely of obligations arranged at angles insufficient for collapse but inadequate for grace. 4. (Meteorol.) See: Christchurch, 99% cloud. See also: the colour of almost-rain that never commits. 5. The interval between two school runs, measured not in hours but in the number of times a to-do list is opened and closed without being altered. 6. (Obs.) From the Old English Tīwesdæg, day of the god of single combat — now understood as the day of simultaneous combats, none of which are permitted to finish. 7. (Colloq.) A thing that fractures light into tasks and calls each shard a priority.