BADGER (Meles meles domesticus), approx. 24 months Specimen observed: corridor, post-incident. Cup status: lateral. Specimen status: vertical. Eye contact with cup: none recorded. Eye contact with observer: sustained, unreturning. Folded arms suggest awareness of cup. Raised chin suggests cup is of no concern. Both statements are true simultaneously. Max (Cockapoo, black, male) investigates the cup on behalf of science. No findings shared. Note: the specimen did not knock the cup over. Note: the specimen did not not knock the cup over. Note: this distinction is not the specimen's problem. Sovereignty confirmed. Dignity: intact. Dungarees: cobalt. Expression: geological. File closed.