Fri, 1 May

LOST PROPERTY OFFICE Wellington Branch, Domestic Division Item 1: One (1) sock, cerulean, featuring a pangolin. Condition: separated. Owner: unknown. Status: awaiting reunion. Item 2: One (1) pen cap, navy. The pen it belongs to was last seen in 2023 and has since built a new life in Dunedin. Item 3: One (1) AA battery. Charge: disputed. The battery maintains it has 40% remaining. Testing apparatus disagrees. The matter is unresolved. Item 4: One (1) hair tie. No distinguishing features. Deeply loved by no one. Impossible to throw away. Item 5: One (1) folded piece of paper. Contents: unknown. Has been folded since approximately March. Whoever put it there remembers neither the folding nor what they meant to remember by folding it. Note on collection: Items will be retained indefinitely. No one is coming for them. The drawer will be closed again in a moment. The window behind it is already dark.