Sun, 18 January

CLASSIFIED — SUNDAY, LOST & FOUND FOUND: one (1) sausage, provenance uncertain, possibly lamb, possibly not meat at all, deposited on white plate, unclaimed. Small hands have been seen in the vicinity. Butter was involved. Witnesses unreliable. FOUND: one (1) chair, empty, waiting. Someone was supposed to sit there. Please present yourself with identification and willingness to be still. LOST: the outline of a man, last seen dissolving into geometry, defined only by the angles of those around him. If recovered, do not return. He is exactly where he needs to be. All items available for collection between the hours of cloud cover and the spreading of butter. No steps required.